upon witnessing a substantial heist, i would attempt to buy the goods off of the thieves at a later time

i'd even let them name their price

hell, i'll give them all the (counterfeit) money they want, hahahahaha!

two can play this game! boosh!

hahahahaha!

plus three justice points for me!

(if i give the merchandise back, that just rewards victimhood, which goes against my programming)

so, fuck em all

("ty cobb" by soundgarden .. .. .. an uncharacteristic display of dropping f-bombs as though they were guitar picks, by chris cornell of all people! lol!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rs9UbqU5DU

I-90 and US-20

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pattaya

that's in the distant future, though .. .. .. like, when i'm 40-45 or so

(i told my parents i firmly believe i could be independently wealthy within 15 years — they told me i'd do it faster than that .. .. no pressure or anything >_< the cynical side of me says they know their social security won't be worth shit by the time they get it, so it's up to me and my little brother to make the dough — and my little brother wants to be a high school band teacher .. .. .. .. .. .. so yeah, it's up to me)

first thing's first, though

i'm saving up to move

i have a budget of about three-to-eight grand (it depends), so when the lease is up at the end of next month, i'll probably find a local sublet on craigslist for about 4-6 months (some of them are off-the-books and don't require signing a lease, my favorite way to do business!) and then work two jobs until i decide i have enough to leave pittsburgh entirely

i do like this town — it's an excellent, cheap launching pad for young professionals who want to work hard and save up some cash .. .. .. but i'm about ready to move on, so don't be surprised if i'm gone by next winter

(however, i'll always love the stillerz and pens, n'at)

i'm also building my credit history so that i can get a sizable business loan

and when i do move for good, it will be to a locality that accommodates entrepreneurship — like i've said previously: knoxville, denver, and omaha are the prime candidates on my short list

in march, my one roommate (as opposed to "that other roommate") and i schemed up 30 small-business startup ideas in 30 days .. .. .. i'd like to combine a few of them in a college campus atmosphere, and we could get that up and running with a business loan of about $200k, perhaps less

when i was in jacksonville visiting my old bandmates, my drummer and i constructed a traveling business model that (according to some back-of-the-envelope math) we could launch with less than $400k

for a debt-o-phobe like me, those seem like dauntingly large risks to take with my finances — and certainly such ventures should not be taken lightly

but with the proper due diligence, market research, elbow grease, and planning, i care nothing for risk .. .. it _will_ work, because my own livelihood will be on the line

but for now, a one-bedroom in shadyside is cool .. .. and i'll bust bad guys by day and serve entrees at night — someday i'll look back and laugh at these days here, living in a shithole and sleeping on the floor

i already am, really

watch me

("typical" by mute math .. .. .. the lyrics suit this post)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XVWR-5fiG0

now if i could string a few of those longer days together i'd be alright $_$

107-365 170410 Ice-Nine

a quick survey of my bookcase indicates an excess of instructional books on a variety of subjects, ranging in scope from baseball pitching mechanics to music theory to calculus to lithuanian language fundamentals, plus some other shit (like a complete tear-down and rebuild manual for the 1988 pontiac fiero — why do i still have that?! i sold that bucket of bolts years ago)

i would classify those tomes under non-fiction since those authors aren't just making shit up

that seems appropriate for my workaholic personality: my default mode is work/study/create, and i only lapse into relax/socialize/play when i'm tired (i play my best shows immediately after a long week of work)

however, a few fictional titles do stand out, and i enjoy them immensely:

cat's cradle by kurt vonnegut (from which i got my old blog name "ice nine" .. .. myspace told me to remove certain blog entries in 2006, i refused, and they deleted my blog in its entirety, involuntarily x_x)

atlas shrugged by ayn rand (describing a world where all the smart/productive people just say "fuck it, this isn't worth the effort" and stop contributing to society)

the illuminatus! trilogy by robert shea and robert anton wilson (best read while mildly intoxicated on your drug of choice, or heavily intoxicated if you're one of those functional types)

the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy by douglas adams (sheer genius)

and, of course, the principia discordia by malaclypse the younger

conclusion: both genres have their place, but i work first and play second .. .. so non-fiction rules the day for me

(wow, looking back at my last week's worth of music links, i realized that two things happened: first, i went to jacksonville and chilled on a beach for several days — second, i came back and posted a bunch of mellow music .. .. .. well, this oughtta fix that: "fiction" by inhale/exhale)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRmuZUzEmfY

ten years ago i was a teenager

if i were to tell that teenager: "within a decade you'll escape from your midwestern cornfield, move to a town where you don't know anyone, succeed at a job you are completely unqualified for, start about six rock bands, skip college entirely, become a capitalist pig, take about a dozen or so international flights (yes, that's a rather low count for the plinkysphere), and shave your head every couple of days .. .."

if i told him: "there will be no such thing as long-distance charges, so the people you talk to the most will be in indianapolis, st louis, jacksonville, san francisco, atlanta, seattle, and omaha while you stay in pittsburgh .. .. .. and you're thinking about moving to denver or hong kong"

"and everything you experience is somehow related to the numbers 5 or 23"

he'd think i were stoned off my gourd, and then go back to watching homestarrunner

i'd tell him that he'd spend the first five of those ten years in and out of hospitals, so he'll have to cram everything into those last five years

he'd punch me in the face and say "STRAIGHTxEDGE!"

yup, ten years ago there's _no_way_ i woulda called this one

i still wanted to be a professional baseball player at that point, larl

which makes me think .. .. .. pittsburgh needs more batting cages

("relative matter" by allius)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1P3o9k2knAk

Siberian Masks & Erotic Photos & Mental Patient Art

given a saturday off, i'd head downtown to the three rivers art festival at the point so i could browse through the sorts of wares you see listed in that there picture

and also to harass strangers .. ..

but instead, i headed downtown to work and got paid to harass strangers from hundreds of miles away

there's still a week left for the art fair, though, so maybe i'll give it a shot on monday when i'm off — it's a pretty big deal in this town, because football and hockey are over and nobody wants to watch the pirates >_<

given a _whole_week_ of leisure time, i'd go batshit crazy .. .. i'm too much of a workaholic to enjoy any more than two or three days off in a row — on day four i'd most certainly check myself into the psych ward and convince people they could train tictacs to do their laundry for them, and that tictacs do a wayyy better job at it than the staff x_x perhaps i'd start a war over it, or some such nonsense

(spell-check knows "workaholic" but not "batshit"? really?)

if i'm not at work, then i'm probably studying, writing, practicing guitar, or scheming up business ideas with one of my roommates — i don't like being idle .. .. it's a fool's game, and i don't play it until i'm exhausted

so, just for shits here, how about a work story? we've had some effed up fraudsters hit our books over the years — let's see .. ..

one guy set up a completely bogus pest-control business called "RAT & TRAP" .. .. he'd grab people's AT&T phone bill payments (i.e. checks and money orders) right out of their mailboxes — written on all of these checks and money orders was something like "pay to the order of: AT&T"

he'd simply write an "R" before "AT&T", and then he'd write "RAP" at the end — suddenly these checks and money orders appeared to be written out to a pest control business called "RAT & TRAP" .. .. he'd then deposit these into his account and it looked like fairly normal business

eventually AT&T started sending out past-due notices to these poor victimized folks, and a few of those folks figured out that if AT&T didn't cash their checks, then someone else did .. .. at that point, the racket was up and my buddy at work found the dirtbag

most desperate people do desperate things — occasionally a desperate person will do something fairly clever .. .. .. we were impressed, and also happy to stop him

hey, the guy made headlines http://www.marshallnews.com/story/1485414.html

nothing really interesting happened today, though, i was mostly monitoring ATMs in 12 states .. .. watching for people to walk up and blatantly deposit empty envelopes, claiming it to be $3000 in cash x_x the quick fix is to just disable their (probably stolen or skimmed) debit card before they try to withdraw it all

i found a couple of counterfeits, but then again i'm always coming across those damned things .. ..

and the other investigators and i decided that the boss's lunch smelled like "mildew and hot garbage"

*shrug*

just another day in the burgh

("wide awake" by autopilot off)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhQZ4NEUhlc

Screamin’ Eagle Slip-On Mufflers

hmmmmm

well, i've already written about jamming car keys into electrical outlets

http://www.plinky.com/answers/139927

maybe i should say: the day i rode my (completely _overrated_) trek 7500 bicycle a hundred miles in a day, from springfield illinois to st louis with my old guitar player .. .. .. while towing a 60-pound bike trailer .. .. .. in 99-degree heat and direct sunlight all day long (i saved my gatorade bottles from that day and counted it all up: i drank _thirty_pounds_ of gatorade in 11 hours of riding — actually, i consumed about 11,000 calories and _lost_weight_), that was a heat-stroke waiting to happen

nahhh .. .. .. not that

occasionally i'll buy a single plane ticket to some foreign city where i don't know anybody, and just see what happens — that sounds dangerous, but london, vilnius, seoul, and hong kong aren't _really_ that perilous

running around southside pittsburgh, blind drunk, at 3 in the morning screaming "TASTE THE SOUP! SMELL THE SOUP!" with my friends? .. .. .. that sort of thing happens all the time there, no big deal

i saw a couple of drive-bys in springfield, illinois when i was younger — but that wasn't fun

the first and only time that i rode as a passenger on a motorcycle was with a good ol' (and i mean _ol'_) boy named sal, who had a brand new harley screamin eagle v-rod .. .. we were both absolutely hammered, and we hightailed it down the country roads at unspeakable speeds before he let me off near my house (later that night, he crashed and disappeared for two months before emerging with a $300k insurance settlement) — that was a close call

but nah, i'm really a lightweight when it comes to risky business .. .. my roommates have wayyyy more effed-up stories than i do

it's best to mellow out

("grey lines" by exit the ordinary)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIEpcr5nPkg

right on .. ..

The Alley Behind the Alley Cat

i've never been a huge art fan, to be honest, which is weird because my brain loves chaotic systems .. .. ..

it stands to reason, though, that that's why i do have a soft spot for (well-done) graffiti — it's like _surprise_art_, it just jumps out at me because it's "not supposed to be there" and i was probably thinking about something completely different at that unexpected moment of discovery

which usually leaves my head thinking something along the lines of: "that was pretty badass"

i appreciate those little jolts once in awhile — it changes my brainwaves for a bit, shakes up my chemistry X_X if i get dragged out to an art show (it happens when you're a musician, or if you have a habit of dating a lot of artists), i know what's coming, and it's just not the same

i haven't seen a whole lot of really good graffiti in pittsburgh, but some other cities do really well in that category — of course the megagiants like new york, los angeles, chicago, philly, etc .. .. but also midsize cities like st louis and indianapolis will make me rubberneck at something on occasion

my ex-girlfriend from morgantown, west virginia had a genuine, twisted flair for the surreal in her work .. .. .. yeah, i can dig surrealism too

but my favorite artist is the unsung graffiti ace on the street

(this isn't usually my style, but i find it appropriate to this post: "art star" by the yeah yeah yeahs)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCpWFfnlCXE

from charlotte, nc to pittsburgh, pa — in an hour! .. .. pilot had his pedal to the metal the whole time, much turbulence, grouchy stewardesses, too much switching on and off as far as the cabin lights were concerned, plus the TSA bullshit beforehand (hey, if there's a terrorist on my flight, i'll rip that fucker limb from limb _myself_ .. .. i don't need TSA's invasive "help") x_x

yeah, this return trip sucked

i have a better time flying korean air .. .. not trying to be anti-american, here, that's just how it is — i calls it like i sees it (their slogan is "excellence in flight" and i believe them)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEYngxOMsmg

(hong kong chick is the hottest)

ying’s chineese takee outee

so i visited my old bandmates in jacksonville, florida, usa, this past weekend, arriving back at my pittsburgh home sometime around 1:30 am this morning (had to get up for work at 5:30)

i had a lot of fun in jax, but i don't think i would live there .. .. .. nevertheless, i did accumulate a few travel stories along the way — and i'm sure they'll leak out eventually

but for now i'll just go point by point, here, covering the pros and cons of jacksonville versus pittsburgh (i'll prolly edit this a couple times before i'm finally done)

GOOD SHIT ABOUT JACKSONVILLE: great weather, near the beach, decent business climate, lots of hot chicks, excellent food (and not just "ying's chinee takee outee" .. .. but god bless chinese takeout), laid-back neighborhoods like san marco, cheap housing and utilities (no $300/month heating bills there!), palmettos everywhere, low taxes, plenty of flat ground for cycling, and sickeningly friendly people among the non-violent types

BAD SHIT ABOUT JACKSONVILLE: violence!, anemic bus routes, too few people for how spread-out it is, crappy radio stations (are there any metalheads in jacksonville?), too many thugs/rednecks/jersey-shore-wannabes, limited college scene, not much for sports, tough to find a simple grocery store sometimes .. .. too much like springfield, illinois (except bigger and warmer)

BAD SHIT ABOUT PITTSBURGH: awful weather, hideous women, terrible place to start a business, bland food, no space whatsoever between housing units, high taxation, no sense of humor, everyone has at least three DUIs, everyone's a tough guy (including nerds and women), yinzers and pittsburghese

GOOD SHIT ABOUT PITTSBURGH: relatively low-crime, excellent public transportation, huge sports town, very-hard-working people, the south side, easily walkable, low cost of living, people mostly mind their own business (or risk being labeled "nebby" or "a nebshit"), several crowded college campuses full of creative and exuberant youth, hilly terrain ideal for outdoor exercising, yinzers and pittsburghese

right

as i see it, jacksonville has quite a few things that i do like (beaches, hot chicks, low taxes) but enough of the things i'm avoiding to deter me from making it my number one choice for relocation .. .. .. hong kong is still the leader on my short list

a few american cities remain that i'm interested in checking out (as i'd like to have some domestic business success before going out and really trying to make an international impact somewhere), like knoxville, denver, omaha/lincoln, des moines/ames, perhaps sioux falls or minneapolis/st paul .. .. ..

basically i want a place where it doesn't constantly rain (eliminating pittsburgh and seattle), where the women are not morbidly obese (once again, eliminating pittsburgh, along with most of the urban south), where crime is low (no chicago, los angeles, atlanta, miami, kansas city, or most-cities-on-the-east-coast), where people aren't in debt up to their eyeballs (byebye, california and illinois) .. .. .. there's gotta be music, sports, hard work to be done for a profit, minimal taxes, very little government intervention, and friendly neighbors

when i find this place, i'll let y'all know

it doesn't seem like jacksonville, florida will make the cut — but then again neither does pittsburgh x_x

("my curse" by killswitch engage)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTiktZzPguU

right on .. ..

i don't have problems with decisiveness these days — pittsburgh can be mightily unfriendly toward indecisive types

when a man is indecisive, it opens him up to a swift gut-check .. .. or at least a healthy dose of tough criticism

you know the type: the guy who swings his arms while walking faster-than-average (usually leaning slightly forward, i.e. not "walking tall", and possibly with his head tilted somewhat low), has trouble with eye contact and handshakes, says what the group means instead of what he really means, and his body language just sucks

he enters into (or tries to stay in) a relationship because of its social value — or his perception thereof .. .. .. or maybe it's the exhilarating and irresistible prospect of consistently getting laid (or so he fantasizes), it's hard to argue with the thought of blind personal pleasure when it comes to this guy (consequences be damned, if they're even considered at all) x_x or maybe he just wants to be babied from cradle to grave

he never cut the umbilical cord, or the ego cord, or any real dependency cord when push comes to shove .. .. still watches stuff like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUq9hynzCVo

dare i say he'll take his medicine, so long as it's cherry-flavored

attention-seeking, entertainment-seeking, novelty-seeking, etc .. .. because it's much easier to find those things than to actually go out into the world and _do_ stuff

work-averse, risk-averse .. .. .. SHAME-averse! indecisive dudes are so terrified of getting a bad case of _the_shame_ for their actions that their convictions sway back and forth with their emotions, until ultimately the window of opportunity has closed and he has done nothing — well, shame on him for _that_

maybe he acts way harder among his friends than he does among strangers (weird — being tough on your friends but doing anything for a stranger? really?), or he's got a bad case of "houseguest syndrome" .. .. y'know what i mean

yeah, that's the last dude i would do business with

my generation is full of these jag-offs .. ..

i would know — i used to be that jag-off just a few short years ago (before i moved to pittsburgh)

not anymore, though, and never again

say what you mean, mean what you say, do what you say you will do, and do it when you say you will do it

every choice must be quickly and decisively measured against your own value system, and acted upon with authority

rawr .. ..

i'm going to check out jacksonville, florida, usa .. .. if i find another particularly inspirational prompt, then i will write again tonight — otherwise, see y'all next wednesday

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNITV1y_ceM

bartenders

i sits down with my boys, right?

barmaid says, "whatcha havin' tonight?"

i says, "that stuff!"

i points to it, accordingly — y'know what i'm sayin'?

barmaid grabs four mugs and pours it

all of us pays up, n'at

i adds a good tip

barmaid says "thank ya, boys!" with a wink and a sly grin, strollin' on down to additional patrons

such a hotty, i thinks aloud .. ..

"first," i says, "a toast — to national championships, payday, and rock 'n' fuckin' roll!"

all of us clink and drain our mugs

that's how it all works in this dump

looking forward, that girl's gonna own this world

if i don't, first

[that wasn't so hard, now, was it?]